Why do we confess our sins to a priest when we can just pray to Jesus?

Questions from teens continues...

This is a great question and shows that you’re thinking about the Catholic faith.  It also shows me you're being drawn to the Sacrament of Confession. 

As Catholics we can and do believe in praying directly to Jesus to get our sins forgiven, in some circumstances.

            Let me explain further:  the Bible, the First letter of John, Chapter 5 verses 16-17 (1Jn 5:16-17) we see John describe how if we see someone committing certain sins we should pray for them and they will be forgiven.  But notice, John says “sins that do not lead to death” are the ones we can pray for and be forgiven.  But also notice John then says the sins that “lead to death” we should not pray for.  What does this mean? 

First, as an aside, the phrase “leads to death” in Latin is “Mortal” and the phrase “do not lead to death” in Latin can be translated “Venial.”  This is why the Catholic Church recognizes God’s truth that there are two different kinds of sin.

            Ok, so if we are not to pray for sins that lead to death (Mortal Sins) how do we get them forgiven?  Does it mean God won’t forgive those sins?  Absolutely not.  There is no sin too big for God to forgive.  Let's also be perfectly clear, the Catholic Church recognizes God's truth that only God can forgive our sins (Catholic Catechism 1441 cf. Mk 2:7 among others).

            So how do we do it if not by prayer?  Well, if we were in the Old Testament, we could take a sacrifice to a Levitical priest.  God empowered the Levitical priesthood to make atonement for the sins of others and thereby forgive a person’s sins (Leviticus 19:20-22).  God created and empowered the Levitical priesthood, in part, to communicate His forgiveness to His people.

            But what about now, in the New Testament?  It is the same thing.  Jesus (God made flesh) created a New Testament priesthood and empowered it, among other things, to communicate His forgiveness for whatever sin we do.  In the Gospel of John, Jesus, just after rising from the dead, appears to the Apostles, breaths the Holy Spirit upon them and says, “Whosoever’s sins you forgive they are forgiven.  Whosoever’s sins you retain they are retained.”  Jn 20:21-23.  You will notice that the Apostles – and therefore our priests today – have to make a choice: do I forgive this sin or retain it?  How can they possibly make that choice without hearing the sins?  Christ directly implied that the priests would have to hear the sins to make that decision.

            Jesus also empowered them to "bind and loose" (Mt. 18:18) which has been understood since that time to mean both as binding and loosing dogma / doctrine, but also binding and loosing sin.  In addition, in James 5:14-15 if a person is sick, they are to call the presbyter to anoint them with oil, pray over them and their sins will be forgiven.  This is where we find that Christ gave us the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick.  Paul also states that God gave us, through Christ, "the ministry of reconciliation." (2 Cor 5:18).

            So we see that only sins that do not lead to death can be "prayed directly to Jesus" for and the sins that lead to death cannot be, however, God empowered his New Testament ministerial priesthood with the ministry of reconciliation to be able to forgive any sin, mortal or venial.

            So why go to confession regularly instead of just waiting to commit a Mortal sin?  Several reasons: 1) For an increase in Humility; 2) As a safe guard against "that's not a sin"; 3) For the Assurance of Absolution.

Humility

1) God desires us to be humble.  Most of the time, I am not (just ask me sometime).  When we admit our sins, out loud, to another human being we come face-to-face with the reality that we are sinners saved by God's Grace alone.  We cannot do this on our own.  We need God, daily, hourly, moment to moment.  When I only "pray to Jesus" for my sins to be forgiven, I miss out on practicing humility.

Humility can be a balance against the other extreme too.  I can be too prideful or I can also fall into scrupulosity: the errant belief that I am too bad to be forgiven.  When I only "pray to Jesus" and I'm suffering from scrupulosity, I have no other human to tell me, "You're being too hard on yourself."  Eventually, if not addressed, scrupulosity can lead to not asking for any sins to be forgiven, just as too much pride in myself can do the same thing.

Humility means knowing myself in truth: not thinking too much of myself; not thinking too little of myself either.  Confession to a priest aids in this pursuit.

Safeguard

2)  When we don't have an external measure, set up by God, to say whether or not something is a sin, we eventually begin to eliminate things as sins.  All over in the Protestant communities we see governing boards, pastors and elders coming out and saying that such-and-such is no longer a sin.  This is the result of "me and Jesus only" confession.  Since sin separates us from God, even if I don't know it, I want to know if something is actually a sin or not, so I can repent from it, confess it and be forgiven of it.  If we reject that external measure God set up, we risk, in the end, rejecting God.

Assurance of Absolution

3) I think the most compelling reason for confessing my sins to a priest regularly (I aim for 1 x month) is what I call, the Assurance of Absolution.  When I only pray to Jesus how do I know I repented fully?  Or I confessed what Jesus wanted me to?  Or that I'm not praying for one of those "sins that lead to death" that Scripture says we should not pray for?  As a Catholic, we can hear the words of Jesus, through his empowered minister: "Your sins are forgiven."  Only the Catholic Church and Orthodox churches have priesthoods that are traceable back, by the laying on of hands, to the Apostles who were empowered, by Jesus, to forgive sins (Jn 20:21-23).

            In addition, though I have lost the cite, studies were done of the most psychologically healthy people.  The most common trait of all of them?  They confessed their sins to a priest, regularly (more than once a year).

            In my own experience, I am almost always nerveous before I go.  Yet I am reassured that priests are not allowed to tell anyone anything anyone confessed to them in confession.  They cannot even say who they saw in confession.  If they do so, they cease to be a priest instantly!  This is called the Seal of the Confessional.  Priest have been imprisoned rather than tell what they heard in confession.
             On Sept 18th, 2011, I made my first good confession in over 20 years!  I knew I had to get all of those 20+ years off my chest.  It literally felt like a weight crushing me.  I happened to be passing a Catholic Church offering confession right at the time I was passing by.  I pulled into the lot with my heart racing, both out of nervousness but also in excitement to KNOW my sins were going to be forgiven.  I stepped into the confessional and chose to sit face-to-face with the priest.  I spent over a half hour laying out all the sins, in as much detail as I could, to him.  When I was done, I waited for the priest's reaction.  I was thinking he'd say something negative like, "It's been HOW long?"  But instead, when I looked up, the priest was beaming!  He said, "A priest waits his whole career to hear a confession of someone coming back to the faith.  Thank you for your honest, humble confession!" 

            When I heard the words of absolution... wow!  To know Jesus loves me and forgives everything I have done, no matter how big or small, is purely miraculous!  I walked out literally feeling lighter!  The sun was brighter, the reds were redder, the greens were greener!

            If you have not gone in a while, I encourage you to go and go regularly especially if you're struggling with a habitual sin.  Once per month confession, in my opinion, is a bare minimum to help combat a habitual sin.  Once a week might be necessary for a while.  The last several popes are reported to have gone several times... PER WEEK!

            If you're not Catholic, I encourage you to research, from Catholic sources, more about the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  It is one of the 7 ways we can increase our personal relationship with Jesus Christ!  Don't you want to encounter the Risen Lord?

            "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 Jn 1:9

Additional resources:  Q + A Confessions to a Priest; Confession to a Priest in Scripture; The Forgiveness of Sins; Confession Explanation